Christian Caregiving, a Way of Life

Do I, as a Christian, have anything unique to offer my friends and family when they are hurting?  What makes the care that Christians offer different from that offered by everyone else?  How can I live and care for others in a way that is distinctively Christian?

Have you ever asked these questions?  Kenneth Haugk did, and in the course of answering them he wrote Christian Caregiving – a Way of Life.  Dr. Haugk is the founder and Executive Director of the Stephen Series system of lay caring ministry. 

Thirty-eight of your fellow members asked these same questions and they, together with eight people from nearby churches, explored ways we can live and care in a more distinctively Christian manner through a 10-week study of Dr. Haugk’s book here at Incarnate Word.

We expect to offer this course once again in the autumn. Topics include “God, You and Me,” “Really Listening,” “Why care?” and “Servanthood vs. Servitude,” just to name four of ten. 

An information session will be held sometime this fall.  You will get a sample of what the course is all about and hear how past participants have woven what they have learned into their everyday lives. 

Caregivers News

March 5th Christian Caregivers’ Workshop Recap

Pastor Joanne led the March 5th Christian Caregiver’s Workshop and wrapped it in the message of James, that true faith is incorporated into our lifestyle in vital work, such as actively caring for one another.  If our January workshop focused on listening, our March workshop made listening a whole lot easier as we reviewed lists of what not to say, including:  “It’s God’s will;” “God won't give you more than you can handle;” or inferring that if someone’s faith were stronger/purer their troubles could be avoided.  We covered conduct in the confusion of an emergency room, the etiquette of hospital and nursing home visits, acknowledging the needs of family members, and visitation after a death.  Fear and discomfort were lessened as we came to see grief as part of the healing process.  Real-life examples and stories brought the lessons to life.  Many thanks to Pastor Joanne for strengthening our caregiving abilities and to all those who participated.   

Once again Kenneth C. Haugk’s book, “Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart; How to Relate to Those Who are Suffering” was promoted as a must have for caregivers.  First-person experiences of both good and bad caregiving are shared along with much practical information.  A copy of this book will be purchased for the library and caregivers may request their own copy through the office at Incarnate Word’s expense. 

During our time together we also reviewed the 2006 cost of the formal Stephen Ministry Program: 

Training Stephen Leaders at Regional Site (One pastor and at least two lay people.)

One time church enrollment fee:                          $1,675
Conference fee:                                                            $1,000 per person
  (Program, housing, lunches and most dinners)
Round-trip transportation costs:                                 $  ?        per person
Manual:                                                                        $   177   per person
Breakfasts and two dinners:                                        $  ?        per person 

Training Stephen Ministers at IW
One training video collection:                                      $   150
Training library for each candidate:                            $     50   per person 

Other Possible Costs
Retreat expenses:                                                         $  ?
Name badges:                                                                $  ?        per person
Commissioning gifts:                                                     $  ?         per person 

The synergy…

Great questions were posed during the recent workshop and new ideas began to take shape. Items that were proposed during and after our gathering include the following (steps thus far are in parentheses):

• Provide badges to be worn by caregivers when on site at facilities.  (Arlene will work with others to produce and distribute.)
• A bibliography of supportive caregiving books on display at the workshop. (Done and included in this newsletter.)
• The possibility of a parish nurse program at Incarnate Word or in combination with our cluster or conference churches. Also, what might be done now with volunteer nurses/social workers. (To be explored by pastors and discussed with various members, core groups and the cluster.)
• The possibility of a youth component of Stephen Ministry. (As the formal Stephen Ministry Program does not have a youth component, some options would be: The creative use of current Stephen Ministry material with our youth; a look at Christ Care Small Group Ministry youth information; and/or work with existing youth ministry material as it relates to team building and healthy caring relationships.
• The addition of caregiving books and Today’s Caregiving magazine and newsletter to our library. (Arlene will work with the library team.)
• Preparation of an Incarnate Word tote bag to be given to family members sitting bedside in hospice or critical care settings. Practical, refreshment and spiritual items could be included, e.g., hand lotion, bottled water, the LBW, et cetera. (Arlene is soliciting suggestions.)
• The possibility of Incarnate Word Shepherds who would run an errand or drive a member to an appointment or errand. (To be explored by pastors and discussed with various members and core groups.)
• Utilization of the Incarnate Word web site and library to communicate caregiving information. (Arlene is working with David Holtz regarding the web site and will discuss with the library team.)
• Taking Bible Study on the road to clusters of our homebound. (Arlene is investigating this with folks at Chapel Oaks.)

Prayer for a Friend, from Everyday Prayers by DayMaker

Lord, only You can reach my friend.

You alone know his needs. Touch his heart, Lord,

and give him the peace found only in You.

Help me in turn to be a good friend.

Give me the words needed to make a difference.

Then help me to know when to stand back

and give him room.

Lord, you love him more than anyone,

and I trust him to Your care.

Revised Instructions for Communion (Monthly/non-holiday)

Communion boxes and bulletins have been prepared and are on the shelf just inside the sacristy.

• Stop at the sacristy prior to service. Pick up the special bulletins for home Communion and ask the Communion preparers or pastor to place a Communion box on the back altar.
• The pastors will consecrate the elements during worship and leave the box on the front altar for you to pick up after service.
• Unless an insert has been prepared (when all of our homebound receive Communion at Christmas, during Holy Week and near Reformation Sunday), you’ll need to bring your regular Sunday worship bulletin or a Bible for the Gospel lesson and an LBW for the prayer of the day.
• All consecrated wine should be consumed or poured into the ground and all consecrated wafers should be consumed.
• Please clean the vial and return it in the Communion box to the sacristy for refilling.

Who are Incarnate Word’s Caregivers?

• Members who have accepted formal caregiving assignments.
• Members who informally call on other members in times of illness or crisis.
• Members of the Prayer Chain.
• Members who volunteer at the Wellness Center.
• Members of the Martha Guild who volunteer to cook and/or deliver food to a member in need or serve food after a funeral or memorial service.
• Members who drive others to worship services or other church programs.
• Members who knit/crochet prayer shawls.
• Members who prepare specific care cards for Sunday signing.
• Members of WELCA who solicit, gather and prepare items for distribution to the homebound and others in need in the community.
• Members of Outreach Funding who review requests and distribute Incarnate Word funds to worthy organizations.
• Members of the 5th and 6th grade Sunday School who make and send greeting cards to our homebound.

Reminders for Assigned Caregivers

• Please do remember to document your visits. The index cards are in simple alphabetical order in the black box in the main office.
• We are here to support you. Please keep the pastors, Arlene Gashlin or Diane Phillips informed of any change in status, questions or concerns you may have related to your person.

Caregivers Bibliography  

 PRACTICAL

Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart; How to Relate to Those Who Are Suffering
by Kenneth C. Haugk, Ph.D.
Compelling, first-person tales of both good and bad caregiving.
Stephen Ministries

Journey’s End; A Guide to Understanding the Final Stages of the Dying Process
by Deborah Sigrist, BSN, RN, hospice nurse
Explains the dying process and its effect on body, mind and spirit. 
Hospice of Rochester
Genesee Region Home Care

 The Fearless Caregiver; How to Get the Best Care for Your Loved One and
Still Have a Life of Your Own
by Gary Barg, Editor of Today’s Caregiver Magazine
Capital Books

With Open Arms; Receiving Care with Grace and Gratitude
by Dr. Tom Droege
How to accept care for yourself.
Toll free order:  1-877-239-2492
On-line order:  www.youthandfamilyinstitute.org

A Primer in Pastoral Care
by Jeanne Stevenson-Moessner
Creative Pastoral Care and Counseling Series.
Fortress Press

Helping Yourself Help Others
by Rosalynn Carter
Support for the caregiver.
Times Books/Random House

Good Grief
By Granger E. Westberg
Approaches the problem of loss of someone or something important to us.
Fortress Press

REFLECTIONS   

 The Wounded Healer
By Henri J. M. Nouwen
Examining your own suffering in preparing to care for others.
Doubleday

Psalms of Lament
by Ann Weems
Psalms of anger and woe in common language.
Westminster John Knox Press

Moments of Grace
Hymns, worship services and meditations for caring and healing ministries.
Wheat Ridge Ministries 

I’m Thinking of You
by Herbert Brokering
Spiritual Letters of Hope and Healing.
Augsburg

My Beautiful Broken Shell; Word of Hope to Refresh the Soul
 by Carol Hamblet Adams
We are beautiful not despite our brokeness but because of it.
Harvest House Publishers